Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Nanny 911

You all pernah tengok tak nanny 911 kat ntv7 every Monday at 8.30pm. Sejak mula² episod saya tengok. Ada lah jugak ter-miss a few episodes. Kekadang tengok macam impossible je nanny tuh nak kena handle unruly family with toddlers / children yang brutal. Anak² mat salleh nih boleh tahan jugak kebrutalan diorang eh. Hehehe.

But one thing that I discovered after watching the show, the problem with the kids is not mainly from them. It's actually from the parents. Kalau mama suka jerit², anak pun akan ikut sama. Kalau mama/papa tak firm mendisplinkan anak, hay wire lah jadi nya. Komunikasi pun memainkan peranan penting. Paling penting! Kalau salah cara communicate, haru-biru lah family.

As for me, my expectations towards my children are too high. They are only 3 & 4 years old toddlers. What do you expect? So bila diorang behave far behind from my expectation, I tend to be angry and stressing out myself. Then I will start nagging and yelling at them. Huh! This is so painful to be truth. I need to change myself first before I can make sure the kids will well behaved and happy. Kalau lah nanny 911 tuh ada kat malaysia, I will be the first to call for rescue :P
"Parents Must Change First, Then Kids Will Follow

* Parents need to STOP yelling . Talk the normal way to kids. No need to scream. If you scream, they will scream back. Because kids learn by example. You teach them to scream as a way to communicate. So they will do exactly just that. Screaming!

* Parents must work as a team. It’s not fair pushing all parenting responsibilities to the mom (even though she is a full time housewife). Both mom and dad must work together to handle the kids. Communication is very important.

* Parents must be consistent in giving rules in the house. For example, if no jumping on the couch now. It should be no more jumping on the couch tomorrow and ever."

Currently Nadhirah tend to whine and scream. I don't why lah. Here is what the nanny deb has to say...
Whiners and screamers aren't born, they're made. Kids start to whine when they're growing leaps and bounds and their vocabulary has yet to catch up. If parents swoop in the minute they hear whining, screaming and crying, toddlers associate that behavior as the one that gets Mom and Dad's attention the fastest. Children are smart. So, when your kids get older and can properly express themselves, they don't. Instead, they figure, "Why should I ask nicely when I get such great results from whining and carrying on?" The key is to nip whining in the bud, before it gets out of hand.

Ignore your children's whines and screams. I know this sounds nearly impossible, and yes, it will be hard, but you are doing this so your kids will start to use their words (not their whines) to get what they want.

Here are a few stop whining tips:

* Tell children to use their words. If your child starts whining, say, "I don't understand whining. I'm not going to listen to you until you say what you want."
* Acknowledge the situation, then shift the conversation away from whining. Example: "I know you're hungry. We'll be having dinner in just a few minutes. Do you want to help?"
* Ask how your child is really feeling. Is he upset? Tired? Hungry? Sad?
* Get your kid involved in coming up with a solution to the problem that caused the whining in the first place. For example: "What should we do about this? Will coloring make you feel better?

Even if your child isn't even talking yet, you can still teach him to communicate. Give your babies and young toddlers the words for what they want instead of just giving them what they want outright. For example: "Oh, you want a cracker? Yes, here's a cracker!" You can even try sign language. But remember: Screaming (from you or from them) is not an acceptable form of communication!

And if your kid is old enough to have a vocabulary, there's simply no excuse: Make sure they use their words! The more they whine and scream, the more you have to insist that they stop if they want to be heard. If you ignore the bad behavior (whining), you can then reinforce the good behavior (asking politely). Because isn't that what raising good kids is all about?

Ignore your child's whines and screams. Make them use their words. Then acknowledge their feelings. Because really, all your kid wants is to be heard.


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