Wean off - I think I did it!

Not me lah weaning off from the bottle. It's my anak bujang. He's 4 and will start schooling next year. I kept on thinking to stop his bottle feeding since a year ago. When he was 3, I thought it was still too early to stop it. But last Sunday something had made me do it for real. Haa, who told you to naik my darah. Now you rasa lah! ;P

I hate to watch him bottle feeding sebab nampak macam dia dah besar sangat. Dah tak sesuai berbotol. Suka sangat gigit² puting. Sampai koyak, bocor. And every time that happened I had to buy new puting for him. No choice. I don't know what has come inside me that I suddenly rampas the bottle from his mouth (tengah best gigit² puting) last Sunday and threw it into the dustbin! Banyak kali jugak ugut dia to not biting his puting before this, if not I'll throw away his bottle. Enuff is enuff. I'm tired of threatening him. So i just do it! I did it at last!

Dia terkejut jugak tengok mama dia tiba² naik hantu kan. Don't play² ha! ;P Then I showed him his bottle in the dustbin. I told him that it's now full of germs and if he still want it, he'll be sick sucking the germs. To my surprise, he just smile and said that he's a big boy now. He'll be start schooling and he said that only babies drinking milk with bottle. Hehehe ;)

That afternoon we went to JJ for him to choose his sippy cup. Thought of buying him Ben10 or something. Unfortunately they only have water tumblers. Last² amik anakku punya je. Simple ;) Oh btw, sebenarnya he's already weaned off his bottle kat nursery. Sebab months ago I gave his drinking cup to his teacher. Tak sangka sebenarnya teacher dah start weaned off dia earlier than me. How do I know? Sebab anak bujang kata, "abang minum milk dalam cup je kat skool. No more bottle. Teacher kata abang dah besar". So who's success's actually? Teacher ke mama? Hahaha :P No wonder lah dia sakan asking for milk at home. Lepas gian kat rumah, dapat botol. But not anymore lah. You're now weaned off son! For real! ;)

For now, I make sure that he gets his milk twice a day at home. Morning before off to nursery and at night before he goes to bed. Senyum lebo mama tengok dia milking from his sippy cup. Ye lah, kena lah bagi dia semangat sikit kan. Puji² sikit ;) Si anak dara pun dah start jugak nak minum milk from her sippy cup. Abang kan mentor. Apa abang buat, semua pun dia nak buat ;P Your time will soon come daughter. Mama bagi chance kat awak til end of this year. InsyaAllah ;) But I started training on her too. We'll see how lah. Kalau semua ok, she'll be weaned off earlier. Hooray! No more pening² bawak bakul susu diorang lepas nih. Kalau kat luar I just give them susu kotak dutch lady jek. Sonang! Nanti adik keluar bagi susu cap gantung. Save sikit boot kereta without the basket. Another milestone achieved. Alhamdulillah! ;)

p/s: pic googled.

Nanny 911

You all pernah tengok tak nanny 911 kat ntv7 every Monday at 8.30pm. Sejak mula² episod saya tengok. Ada lah jugak ter-miss a few episodes. Kekadang tengok macam impossible je nanny tuh nak kena handle unruly family with toddlers / children yang brutal. Anak² mat salleh nih boleh tahan jugak kebrutalan diorang eh. Hehehe.

But one thing that I discovered after watching the show, the problem with the kids is not mainly from them. It's actually from the parents. Kalau mama suka jerit², anak pun akan ikut sama. Kalau mama/papa tak firm mendisplinkan anak, hay wire lah jadi nya. Komunikasi pun memainkan peranan penting. Paling penting! Kalau salah cara communicate, haru-biru lah family.

As for me, my expectations towards my children are too high. They are only 3 & 4 years old toddlers. What do you expect? So bila diorang behave far behind from my expectation, I tend to be angry and stressing out myself. Then I will start nagging and yelling at them. Huh! This is so painful to be truth. I need to change myself first before I can make sure the kids will well behaved and happy. Kalau lah nanny 911 tuh ada kat malaysia, I will be the first to call for rescue :P

"Parents Must Change First, Then Kids Will Follow

* Parents need to STOP yelling . Talk the normal way to kids. No need to scream. If you scream, they will scream back. Because kids learn by example. You teach them to scream as a way to communicate. So they will do exactly just that. Screaming!

* Parents must work as a team. It’s not fair pushing all parenting responsibilities to the mom (even though she is a full time housewife). Both mom and dad must work together to handle the kids. Communication is very important.

* Parents must be consistent in giving rules in the house. For example, if no jumping on the couch now. It should be no more jumping on the couch tomorrow and ever."

Currently Nadhirah tend to whine and scream. I don't why lah. Here is what the nanny deb has to say...

Whiners and screamers aren't born, they're made. Kids start to whine when they're growing leaps and bounds and their vocabulary has yet to catch up. If parents swoop in the minute they hear whining, screaming and crying, toddlers associate that behavior as the one that gets Mom and Dad's attention the fastest. Children are smart. So, when your kids get older and can properly express themselves, they don't. Instead, they figure, "Why should I ask nicely when I get such great results from whining and carrying on?" The key is to nip whining in the bud, before it gets out of hand.

Ignore your children's whines and screams. I know this sounds nearly impossible, and yes, it will be hard, but you are doing this so your kids will start to use their words (not their whines) to get what they want.

Here are a few stop whining tips:

* Tell children to use their words. If your child starts whining, say, "I don't understand whining. I'm not going to listen to you until you say what you want."
* Acknowledge the situation, then shift the conversation away from whining. Example: "I know you're hungry. We'll be having dinner in just a few minutes. Do you want to help?"
* Ask how your child is really feeling. Is he upset? Tired? Hungry? Sad?
* Get your kid involved in coming up with a solution to the problem that caused the whining in the first place. For example: "What should we do about this? Will coloring make you feel better?

Even if your child isn't even talking yet, you can still teach him to communicate. Give your babies and young toddlers the words for what they want instead of just giving them what they want outright. For example: "Oh, you want a cracker? Yes, here's a cracker!" You can even try sign language. But remember: Screaming (from you or from them) is not an acceptable form of communication!

And if your kid is old enough to have a vocabulary, there's simply no excuse: Make sure they use their words! The more they whine and scream, the more you have to insist that they stop if they want to be heard. If you ignore the bad behavior (whining), you can then reinforce the good behavior (asking politely). Because isn't that what raising good kids is all about?

Ignore your child's whines and screams. Make them use their words. Then acknowledge their feelings. Because really, all your kid wants is to be heard.

:)

What you give, you get back

Semua saya dah buat, dah bagi. Apa lagi yang diorang nak lagi pun saya tak tahu. Mama itu, mama ini, nak mama, nak mama, merengek, menangis, whining here & there! In the morning they woke up crying "mama, mama, mama..!". Siap bergaduh, berebut² nak mama. And they know that I'm just outside the room. Arghhh! Rimas! Sometimes jeles dengan en hubby. Anak² tak nak pulak merengek² nak itu, ini dengan dia. Semua MAMA. Saya jugak lah yang marah diorang, babab diorang, jerit diorang tapi tetaaaap jugak nak mama.

This morning saya mengadu dengan en hubby. Saya rasa letih nak melayan kerenah anak² yang saya tak paham, dah tak tahu nak buat macam mana lagi dah. Saya rasa down sangat². Tapi jawapan dia betul² buat saya terkesima & tersedar... Just assume ni part of their development, proses membesar. They miss you, they want your attention. Esok² diorang dah makin besar, kita pulak diorang tinggalkan. Time tu pulak kita rasa miss diorang, nak diorang ada je dengan kita...

Haa! Kena tepat dekat muka. Esok dah tua nak suruh anak² buat itu ini, dia bagi jawapan alaa, letih lah. No time! Apa lagi nak kata? Rasa lah macam mana diorang rasa sekarang. Heh! Karma!

Somehow I came across this article by Zaid Mohamad. I like it and I personally agree with him.

All We Need Is A Little Break

In the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, it is so easy to be sidetracked by the day-to-day stuff till we forgot what it is all about.

At work, the pressure, customer demands, bosses' expectations and career aspirations all have a mysterious ways to mess up our otherwise happy-go-lucky self. Little things add up and before we know it, we are ready to explode.

If you think things will get better at home, think again. Messy house, untidy rooms, unwashed utensils and unfolded clothes do not help to provide the much-needed serenity. If you have a maid, these may not be a problem, but what about the screaming kids? The incomplete homework? The poor exam results?

But fret not. All these are signals that all you need is a little break. When the going gets tough, the tough takes a break to get going again.

Ask your spouse to give you a good massage or pick up your favourite comedy movie ("Kung Fu Hustle" may just do the trick) to watch one more time. Do not hold back the laughs and smile as wide as you can.

In no time, you will be ready to face the world and do it all over again...!

So anak², let's take a break. Let's have Iron Man 2 tonight! ;)

Masa itu akan tiba jua

Semalam result spm keluar kan. So masih hangat lagi lah isu ni diperkatakan. Setiap kali ada exam besar semua orang akan automatically tertanya siapa antara yang dikenali amik periksa. Anak siapa so and so. Bila result keluar semua nak tahu si polan atau anak si polan tuh dapat berapa? Excellent ke kecundang ke moderate aje. Tapi jawapan balas cliche yang biasa di dengar sudah pasti, "takpe lah, ok dah la tuh. janji lulus". Ini bagi kes result kurang memberangsangkan lah kan. Kalau excellent nye result, "Alhamdulillah. Elok sangat dah la tuh... tahniah" ;)

Saya tertanya² jugak, later anak² saya pun akan ambil periksa jugak. Tak tau lah macam mana saya nak hadapi situasi macam di atas. Bila orang sekeliling dok tanya berapa anak saya dapat, macam mana lah gaya nak menjawab. Kalau memang dia excellent in studies tak susah lah sangat kan nak jawab. Konfiden lah kan. Kalau nanti result tak bagus ke camana nak jawab eh? Terus kondifen. Malu, sedih semua ada la kot. Sure makan dalam lah kan. Tapi macam mana nak overcome benda² nih? Ikut pengamatan saya, bila anak nak ambil result, mak bapak yang lebih nervous dari anak². Ye lah, mana tak nervous. Belum result keluar pun dah ada yang tanya anak dapat berapa. Huh, camno tuh?! Siapa yang tak kepochi nak tahu, angkat tangan! Huh! Tipu! Kita memang tak tanya direct, tapi kita nak jugak curik² dengar jawapannya bila orang lain bertanya, kan?

Dari dulu saya setuju dengan phrase ni, "excellent / good on paper tak semestinya excellent / good practically". Saya pernah dengar cerita ada student bila exam very the excellent, 1st class memanjang. Tapi bila grad from 1st class diorang turun pangkat ke 2nd class. Sebabnya? They don't deserve it. On paper jek excellent, tapi practically hampeh. More to menghafal apa yang diajar dan dibaca sahaja. Siapa setuju kalau saya kata sistem pendidikan kita memang ke arah on paper sahaja? (jangan kena saman sudah...) :P

Saya tak reti lah nak elaborate perasaan saya ni. Hope korang paham lah pe yang saya cuba nak cerita ni kan. Hehehe. Saya tak nak jadi parent yang mendesak. Push! Push! Push! Gedebush! (macam nak beranak lah pulak :P). Kalau kita paksa² sangat anak² pun tak boleh jugak kan. Kita sendiri pun kalau dipaksa naik rimas. Ini kan pulak budak². Setiap orang / anak ada interest masing². Setiap orang tak sma. As a parent yang baik, sepatutnya kita dah tahu mana arah anak². Dari kecik kita dah boleh identify. Ada jugak jenis yang tak suka belajar. Tapi bila exam, excel. Ada tuh tak minat buku, nak baca masuk kelas bagai, tapi minat inventing, building, repairing, painting, so on and so forth. More to kemahiran gitu lah. Ikut kata pakar motivasi, kita kena bagi sokongan pada anak² yang macam ni. Tapi saya kalau anak tak kenal huruf 'W' pun dah rasa nak pengsan. Stress. Dan saya rasa saya ada aura menjadi seorang ibu yang mendesak dan pendesak. Adoi. Anak baru umur 4 tahun, ajar macam budak darjah satu. Haish! Tapi adakah saya buat itu semua untuk dia atau lebih untuk saya sendiri? Hmmm...

Kalau boleh saya nak anak² saya all-rounded. Akademik bagus, kemahiran bagus, sports bagus, pergaulan bagus dan yang paling penting, rohaniah mesti bagus. Parents mana yang tak nak macam tuh kan. Semua nak yang baik² sahaja. Tapi kalau tak push, camana nak capai semua tu? I guess nak push pun ada cara nya jugak lah kan. Macam nak push masa beranak jugak lah. Ada teknik² dia. Susah tau jadi parent. Sebab itu bila kita belum atau tak dikurniakan zuriat, ada lah hikmah sebaliknya tuh.

Well, saya masih lagi terkesan dengan entry KNV yang ini. Guess I have to be prepared to accept whatever my children abilities would be. Akademik bukan kayu pengukur. Focus on the strengths not on the weaknesses. Thanx KNV. Lega sikit ;)

So, rasa² dah dapat solution kah?

Oh, sedikit tambahan. Saya pantang orang yang suka sesedap rasa mengata anak orang lain bodoh, tak pandai, tak cantik, itu, ini. Anak dia jugak yang baik segala. Eh, hello! Lu sapa beb??!

p/s: ada orang sekolah tinggi, tapi perangai macam hampeh. ada orang belajar pendek tak tinggi mana, tapi peribadi mulia. salute!

Which one of these?

Question:

How do you manage to discipline your children? How do you control your anger towards your kids? Which approach do you use?

Answer:

A. One tight slap is the best way to bring up a child

B. Spare the rod and spoil the child

C. A and B

D. None of the above

E. All above

Kawalan

Sebelum / bila / semasa / ketika / tengah nak marah anak-anak, kena fikir dulu sama ada nak marah sebab:

a) nak mendidik

atau

b) nak lepas geram

b) is extremely forbidden. Can i?

Adil & Saksama

Pagi tadi sempat ber-ym bersama en hubby. Seperti biasa dia akan update saya tentang anak-anak sebab dia yang siapkan diorang dan hantar ke sekolah. Entah macam mana terkeluar pulak ayat "abang anak mama, adik anak papa". Isk! Berdesing telinga saya dengar baca ayat dia. Mati-mati saya berbalah dengan dia, menegakkan benang yang memang tak basah, yang saya memang equal dengan anak-anak saya. Saya sayang diorang sama-rata, takde belah-bagi. Tapi en hubby tetap jugak kata saya memang lebihkan abang dari adik. Mana mungkin? Saya memang adil dan saksama!

Last-last saya mengalah lah jugak. Bila pikir-pikir balik tak guna bertikam lidah. Sebab selalunya manusia takkan sedar yang dirinya melakukan kesilapan. Pada mereka dan termasuklah saya, sentiasa rasa betul dalam segala hal. Mungkin saya tak sedar saya berpelakuan begitu terhadap anak-anak saya. Sedih pulak rasa bila sebenarnya saya pun ada aura pilih kasih. Tak mungkin!

Sebenarnya saya bukan pilih kasih. Seboleh-bolehnya saya mahu berikan yang terbaik kepada anak-anak saya. Sama-rata. Sejak adik ada, saya merasakan yang saya perlu lakukan sesuatu supaya abang tak rasa tersisih dan terpinggir. Saya tak nak dia rasa "mama asyik dengan adik je, abang macam mana?". Saya pun nak dia jadi abang yang bertanggugjawab dan protective towards her lil sister. Tak nak dia jadi abang yang lepas tangan. So, setiap apa yang saya lakukan bersama-sama adik saya akan pastikan saya involve jugak dia. Apa yang adik dapat, abang akan dapat. Tapi ada jugak masa abang dapat tapi adik tak dapat. Mungkin itu yang en hubby nampak kot? Katakan saya beli 1 bar sugus, memang saya akan beli satu sebab saya nak diorang kongsi. Sharing is caring, no? Saya tak nak diorang makan banyak gula-gula. Dan kalau saya beli pedang ben-10 untuk abang, takkan saya nak belikan untuk adik jugak?

Ada satu scene lagi di mana saya merasakan yang saya bertindak betul. Kalau diorang berdua berebut apa-apa aje lah, saya akan biarkan diorang handle sendiri perkara tu. Saya takkan masuk campur selagi takde mendatangkan kemudaratan. Normal lah, kadang-kadang abang menang, kadang-kadang adik menang. Kadang-kadang abang nangis, kadang-kadang adik pun nangis jugak. Cuma satu yang saya ajar mereka, respect each others. Abang tak boleh sewenang-wenangnya rampas atau ambil barang adik. Adik pun sama. Saya memang pantang benda tuh. Kalau jadi depan mata saya, saya akan menangkan yang berhak, tak kiralah abang atau adik. Biar lah diorang menangis asalkan diorang dapat pengajaran.

Zaman sekarang bukan senang nak jadi seorang wanita yang bergelar anak, isteri, mama dan pekerja dalam satu masa. Bukan benda main-main nak kahwin dan nak berkeluarga serta berkerjaya at the same time. Macam-macam nak kene fikir. Tolak tepi lah semua perkara tuh, apa yang saya tahu, saya perlu berusaha melakukan dan memberikan yang terbaik kepada anak-anak saya. Walaupun kadang-kadang saya kecundang di tengah jalan, peluang untuk memperbaiki diri masih tetap ada. Tentang kejadian saya bertukar menjadi harimau semalaya, harap saya dapat pikirkan jadian yang lebih lembut tetapi garang. Tapi apa ye?

Kepada en hubby, ketahuilah yang sebenarnya saya TIDAK pilih kasih. Walaupun you kata memang itu lumrah semua parents, i memang tak setuju. Tujuan saya adalah untuk melindungi anak-anak saya. Well, maybe sometimes i may be over react and over protective. But it's all simply because i love them so much! And of course lah i love you too! ;) Dan satu lagi, dua-dua tuh anak saya jugak. Takde term anak you anak i :P

Manja biar berpada

nawfal: papa jom la beli jam abang... jom la papa...
papa: nk beli jam pe? kat mane? u had 2 already. sume rosak, camane papa nk belikan lg?
nawfal: alaaa abg naaaaakkkk! jom la papa (merengek2)
papa: jam power rangers abg mane?
nawfal: x tau mane. dh jatuh... jom la papa!
papa: see! x reti jage brg sendiri. kalau nk papa beli kene la pandai jage brg. jgn hilangkan. kalau xnk pon make sure simpan bebaik. ok?
nawfal: ok! tp naaaaakkk! nak jam baru... (menangis ngade2)
papa: nnt la w'end kite beli. ni dh nk mlm, esok nk skool lg. w'end eh? kalau nk skang abg pakai jam tu la dulu (pointing to the wall clock. sengal la papa nih. bleh buat lawak pulak :P)
nawfal: hehehe (bleh gelak pulak tuh :P) tu x bleh pakai kt tgn la papa. jom la, abg nak sekarang! (mama dh x tahan dh nih nk masok campo. melampau dh nih! isk!)
mama: (baru nk bkk mulot membebel. tetibe atuk dtg to the rescue)
atuk: haa nih atuk dh jmpe jam abg
nawfal: atuk jmpe kt mane?
atuk: kt moto pak lang tu haa
nawfal: tq atuk... papa tlg pakai kan... :)

Tu kalau atuk x interupt tuh x tau la pe jd. Samada mama 'naik hantu' atau pun mama drive pegi carik jam baru :P

That's part of it. Kalau x bg kesian je tgk. Kalau asik bg je bleh masuk dlm kategori 'spoil'. Nawfal is only 2 yrs 7mths old, tp dia dh tau demand itu ini. Kite saiko dia, dia saiko kite balik. Isk! S'times i just gave him what he wants bcoz i couldn't stand the nags & cries :P S'times konon-konon aku keras hati jgk. Tp at the end mesti x smpai hati. Hubby slalu marah psl nih, dia kate nnt mua la bdk tuh nnt. Sume mintak sume bg (on-the-dot!). Dh x reti dh nk paham NO or tak boleh, later sure mkn diri aku sendiri. & s'times i couldn't help myself (inlcuding papa & atuk), bribe him wt sweets so that he will ikot kate. Bad isn't it? Dh jd amalan, hard to turn back. Bace mcm2 pasal parenting & kids, but to implement it in real life, it's really hard. One thing for sure, it's all abt discipline! Yes, that's the word!

Ermm any other best practices x camane nk handle bende nih?? I read abt it here. Hope it helps a lil bit ;)